White Knight
by Martienne
Summary: Leonard Church had loved Allison ever since he could remember. But can he help her escape the life that has her trapped? Or is she bound by shackles of her own design? [Note: This is not a canon update. I am rewriting for better voice and characterization.][Rated T for language and mild sexual content.]
1. Prelude

Years later, after she was gone and he had nothing but the memories to cling to, he'd look back on their first meeting and think how appropriate it was for the two of them.

He'd been sulking that day, more than anything. He didn't appreciate being uprooted from the life he'd had in Atlanta, even if his father had waited until summer break started. This neighborhood that his father had moved them to here in Austin was even more run-down than the one they'd come from. It was supposed to be a new beginning, new town, new life; new school, now that he was going to be starting high school. But he didn't want any part of that. He just wanted his friends and his home and the place where he'd been raised.

The first time he saw her was entirely unexpected-she was just a flash of red hair, an athletic body tucking and rolling, as she tumbled in through his bedroom window. She stood, her eyes wide, and she pushed her hair back from her face.

He was just as shocked, remaining where he stood after entering the room with a packing box, not reacting, merely staring at her. His father had mentioned needing to fix the lock for that window, but he'd never expected to find someone diving through it.

She scowled and glared at him from beneath her brows. "Who are you?"

He scoffed, shifting the box he'd been carrying to angle himself toward her slightly. "Who am I? What are you doing in my bedroom?"

She crossed her arms. "Hey, shut up, cockbite. This house was vacant last I knew."

He rolled his eyes. "How did you miss the moving truck that was here all fucking day?" He set the box aside, dropping it more than anything else, as he placed it on the floor. "Nice way to introduce yourself to the new neighbors, by the way."

"I'll introduce myself any way I want to." She was clearly over the shock of finding someone inside the house now. "Now when I want to avoid spending time at home I'll have to go somewhere else. Thanks a lot."

"Don't blame me, asshole," he said. "Now are you planning to leave, or do I need to make you help me with moving in?"

"Can't _make_ me do anything, jackass."

She left, but that wasn't the last he saw of her. Not by a long shot. Nothing really threw them together, but they got along—in their own way—and it being summer, they both had a lot of free time. She came around a lot, preferring to spend time bickering with him to spending time at home, for whatever reason. He didn't bother to ask about why. He could see, after all. Her place was shabby, even more than the house his father had rented across the street from hers. There were always people over, it seemed like, and they didn't seem like the most reputable sort. She seemed to like the fact that it was just him and his dad.

She took to coming inside without knocking, draping herself on the couch and sometimes stealing an apple off the counter.

"Where are you from, anyway?" she asked one day, watching him try and fail to learn a new trick on his skateboard.

He glanced over at her before returning his attention to not falling and cracking his head open. "What?"

"Your accent. Where are you from?"

_Home_. That was the answer he wanted to give. As fun as it was getting to know her, and as much as he preferred the weather here, it still wasn't home. "People in Texas have accents sometimes, you know."

"Where in Texas?" she prompted.

"I didn't say it was in Texas." He didn't look at her again, just flipped the skateboard over and tried his trick again.

She rolled her eyes. "You're such an ass, Leonard."

"Shut up, Texas." He rolled past her and fell.

She took that opening, grabbing the skateboard and pushing off after she got her foot on it. "Yeah, that's a real original nickname, Lenny," she called back behind her, and he nearly ran after her, but instead he stood up and watched her. She was better than him.

"The hell are you looking at?" she taunted as she returned. She flipped the skateboard up and held it.

"Nothin'," he said, a little too quickly. She gave him a dead-eyed stare. "_Nothing_," he insisted again.

She grinned, but she also shook her head and dropped his skateboard so it could roll over to him and hit him in the ankle. "You really are an idiot, Leonard."

As the summer progressed she made herself more and more at home. It seemed completely natural when she eventually just started crashing on the couch some nights. He didn't know what it was she was running from, but his father allowed it, so it was okay. There was something about it, in the way she handled things. She always handled things on her own. The two of them talked a lot, and she told him about these situations, in a confidential tone, in a way that made him think she'd never shared them with anyone before. Times like once, when she was a child, when the school counselor had tried to talk to her about something, and she'd just kicked him in the shin and run off.

"Why'd you do that?" he asked. They were settled at the coffee table, sitting on the floor, and he watched her shuffle the deck of playing cards that saw use more often than not on these nights.

"Because it was my problem, not his." That was the other thing. Even when she couldn't handle things, shouldn't have to, she handled them anyway. He wondered why she was like that.

He turned on the music and she started dealing the cards out, setting up for a game of Slapjack. He had a suspicion she really liked that game so she could whack his hand over and over. Normally that was fine with him. Tonight he felt a little more serious, trying to talk about some of the questions he had about her life; but the more of them he asked, the more she laughed, getting worked up until she was laughing the ridiculous kind of laughter that comes out when a person is way overtired, and she started smacking all the cards. She seemed drunk on laughter, and the games, and the music, and caffeine from the sodapop.

He grabbed her arms. "Stop it! Stop being such an asshole."

She narrowed her eyes at him, and yanked them away. "Then stop asking me about shit."

He didn't know she'd been doing that on purpose, but he knew now that he'd overstepped his bounds. What was it that made her wall that part of her life off from him—from everyone? He didn't know how to proceed without asking another one of those questions, and he glanced away, then focused his gaze on her, worried and somehow feeling protective of her, not knowing what it was she was even needing protection from.

Her expression became even more hard. "Stop looking at me like that."

He wished he could take it back, whatever he had said that was making her act like this, but he didn't realize what he'd done. Not until later. She was smart, she'd seen it in his eyes, what he didn't even know was happening.

It was stupid, they were only fourteen, but that was the night he started to fall in love with her.

After that she never came to stay the night anymore.


	2. Defense

He never had told her about the fact that he and his father were only living there temporarily. His father worked hard, having moved to Austin to join a start-up architectural firm, and now he spent his evenings house-hunting as well. It wasn't that Leonard was keeping that fact from her. He just never thought to mention it.

"What's going on?" She shoved in the front door, past the moving men who were carrying out boxes, and came to stand before Leonard, shoulders square, feet planted, impatient and demanding. "Where are you going?"

He was caught off guard, no question, and the look he gave her was partly guilty, partly surprised. He'd taken it so for granted that this was happening one day that the topic had never come up between the two of them. His father had taken him to see the house, and he knew they'd talked about this at various times that summer, but had it ever come up in front of her? Apparently not.

"We're moving," he said, in a tone that covered up his discomfort with deadpan sarcasm. "That's what that truck is for."

She just shook her head, shooting him a dirty look. "People usually tell their _friends_ about that kind of stuff," she grumbled.

"I didn't think he needed your permission," he said. He had a bad habit of doing that kind of thing, not letting on when something was distressing or upsetting. Sarcasm was easier. He was glad to know she cared about it, and he did feel bad that he'd never brought it up. He was just so comfortable with the status quo—crazy, that, considering how much he'd hated here it when they'd first moved.

"That's not what I said, jackass." She turned around, leaving in some other direction from her house. He called after her, but she wasn't that easily dissuaded when she decided to beat a retreat and chasing her did no good. She was in better shape than him.

It wasn't until late that night that he got another chance to talk to her about it. He didn't really know what made him think to come out on the porch; he must have heard something that made him realize she was outside. He stepped out the door, into the muggy Texas night, and gazed at the house across the street. There was nobody outside, but the lights were on and he could hear the bass pulsing from the music that was playing inside.

He didn't think she realized that he knew she was there. But he didn't look at her. He just started talking.

"I don't want to move away. But there's nothing I can do about it. If you're going to be pissed at me over it, that's your problem."

The next thing he knew, he was falling flat on his ass. She had come around front of him and shoved him. He was taken completely by surprise, sprawling backward before he'd even realized he was falling. He tried to sit up, again, tried to speak, but she jabbed his shoulder with her foot, causing him to fall back again.

"I fucking hate you," she hissed. Then she fled, dissolving into the night like a ghost.

He scowled after her, hunching with his arms around his knees before springing to his feet. Well, what the fuck whatever. It wasn't as though he'd promised her anything.

He missed her, though, once he got settled into the new house, and his anger at her reaction faded. It wasn't the same, here in a neighborhood full of younger children, having no one to play silly card games with and laugh with while listening to old music. He still had his skateboard, and he had the basketball hoop in the driveway, but it was lonely, doing those things all by himself. He'd goof around with the younger kids, but it wasn't the same as having Allison around. How had he come to miss her so much after knowing her for so short a time? And he couldn't get a hold of her anymore. She refused to answer when he called. He thought it was ridiculous, to hold a grudge over his moving away by avoiding him. What a way to show she still cared.

He started high school that fall. Both of them did. They didn't have any classes in common, but he would see her sometimes in the halls. And she pointedly ignored him. Well, fine, he thought, if she wanted to be like that. He ignored her right back.

Life went on. Autumn went by, and winter. That February, he tried out for the freshman basketball team, and got picked. Mostly because of his height, he thought. He'd never had the best aim.

They started having practices in the evenings. And he noticed something strange. Allison was always there. She would sit in the top row of the bleachers, doing her homework. Was she there to watch him? He tried waving at her the first couple of times he saw her, but she wouldn't look up. If he tried to approach her before going back to the showers, she would abruptly grab her things and leave. Those times that he saw her looking at him out of the corner of my eye, when he looked up to blatantly catch her looking at him, she flipped him off. Well, that wasn't much of a change—she was just making about as much sense as she ever did. He could go right back to ignoring her if she was going to play that game.

Their first practice game was a scrimmage against the JV team. He was just about as tall as the older guys, but all of them were faster, and stronger, and were better at shooting baskets. And he soon realized that a number of them were bullies. They thought pounding the freshman team into the ground was a great pastime. And the fucking coach seemed to think that was perfectly fine. Leonard lost count of all the fouls the coach should have called on them. Some way to boost team morale.

After the JV team had gotten the chance to grind the freshmen into the floorboards, the coach called the end of practice and went into the locker room. Leonard grabbed his water bottle and towel and was on his way there when a couple of the JV guys blocked his way.

"Look at this guy," one of them said to the other, sneering at him. "You body-checked me, you asshole," he added, putting his hands on Leonard's shoulders and pushing him.

"Hey, Coach was letting you guys get away with anything you wanted, jackass," he countered. "I was just trying to give you a dose of your own medicine."

"Well, why don't you give it another try, maybe I'll be cured," he said sarcastically, giving Leonard another push.

He gritted his teeth. "You asked for it." Leonard wound back his fist and started to let it fly furiously.

Instead the friend of the older boy grabbed his arm and spun him round, catching Leonard by surprise. He punched Leonard in the mouth and the boy who had threatened him in the first place grabbed his basketball shorts and yanked them down. Leonard was disoriented and humiliated and he reached down to rectify the situation with his pants. The toolbags who had instigated the whole thing were already running off, laughing like hyenas.

"Hey, you motherfucking cocksuckers!"

Leonard's eyes widened. It couldn't be.

He spun around. It was.

Allison.

Beating the shit out of the guys who had pantsed him.

Watching her fight was truly a thing of beauty. She was faster than the bullies, and she seemed to know how to use their own moves against them, how to predict when their fists were going to fly or when they were going to try to double-team her or grab her from behind. She had them hitting each other at one point until they realized what they were doing and tried to orient themselves. By that time it was too late—she'd come around behind one of them and grabbed his arm, pinning it up behind his back. They were both breathing heavily, exhausted, and his friend made no move to defend him.

"You leave him alone," she glowered in his ear, "or you'll answer to him again. Got me?"

"Yeah," he muttered, defeated.

She released his arm. "Get out of my sight."

The two went scrambling for the locker room and he was left alone with her, staring at her in slack-jawed amazement.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Next time you better be able to defend yourself, asshole."

Leonard couldn't let that go unchallenged. Was she really assuming he had needed her to intervene? He hardened his face into a haughty expression. "I had it under control, bitch."

"Clearly," she scoffed, walking back to where she had dropped her school bag. "Don't bother to thank me. I won't be there next time."

He probably should have kept his mouth shut, right there. Or even thanked her. But instead he smirked. "What are you talking about, obviously you can't stay away. In fact, I bet if I offer to walk you home tonight, you'll be waiting outside that door for me after I take my shower."

She snorted. "Keep telling yourself that, Leonard."

"Just watch," he said. "I'll be back in ten minutes."

Even so, he rushed his way through the shower. Somehow he knew what would happen. He knew that when he came out of the locker room, she would be gone.

He never saw her at another one of his practices.


	3. Physical Science

His first mistake had been in volunteering to be a tutor.

After all, he wasn't the most patient of guys. That was part of the reason he wasn't acing the class to begin with. The homework was easy, and it bored him, and he never quite managed to complete it before it was time to turn it in.

Actually, no, his first mistake had been in trying to skate in this class in the first place. He'd just kind of assumed he was getting an A until the midterm report came out and showed a B. And he did have his ambitions, which meant getting all As was important. It was his senior year, after all.

No, wait. His first mistake had been… had been…

"Leonard, what the hell is wrong with you?"

He glanced over at her. One of Allison's eyebrows was raised, and she tapped her paper with her pencil. "You can't let yourself trail off like that when you're explaining this to me."

"I didn't trail off, you're just not paying attention." He shook his head and shifted in his chair to lean a little closer to her. He should have known he'd end up tutoring Allison, of all people. Somehow over their years of high school they had never had a class together, yet they always seemed to pass in the hallways somewhere on the way, always seemed to end up in the same lunch period, and always, always, had this antagonistic kind of friendship, that, well, he didn't even know if _she_ considered it a friendship.

So he didn't understand why, when they sat down next to one another at one of the lab tables and their physics teacher, Mr. Lucci, left them to do their work in order to take care of other errands, he found his hands shaking slightly. He knew he'd developed a little bit of a crush on her, but he didn't know it was like this. It took a lot of his concentration just to breathe normally. Now that he'd moved, she was almost, but not quite, near enough for her leg to brush against his, and she just smelled…really good. Her hair swung down when she leaned forward to write something on her paper and swept lightly against his hand.

At least he had the assurance of knowing that Allison had no idea what he was thinking about. That was something he'd learned somewhere along the way; people have a cognitive bias that other people can read what they're thinking about, but most of the time—

"Leonard, fuck, if you're not going to even listen to what you're saying, why am I here at all?"

Now she was actually getting pretty irritated. He cleared his throat and sat back the way he had been before. "I told you, you're the one that needs to pay some fucking attention. You got that factor reversed." He jabbed at her paper with his pencil and gouged it.

She yanked her paper away. "Shut up, asshole." She erased it, started again, rubbed her forehead for a moment. "Show me the proof, again?"

"Look, right here." He flipped the page of his notebook. Like many of the pages inside, it was already doodled upon, but he simply found a blank spot and started working the problem.

She leaned closer and he couldn't help it, his eyes gravitated toward the collar of her shirt. It had gapped a little lower, just a slight dip, just enough that from this angle—

"Leonard." She pointed at his paper. "Why is my name written here, huh?"

She was laughing now, and he flipped to the next page, irritated, shooting her a glare. "It wasn't."

"Oh, you liar! I saw it." She kicked the toe of her tennis shoe against his ankle. "And don't think I didn't notice you looking down my shirt. You couldn't be more obvious if you tried."

"Obvious about what?" He scowled and pulled his notebook further away to start the proof over. "Look, watch me work this problem and you better get it right this time."

The more he tried to button himself down, the worse it got. Now his voice was trembling, just a little, and he was sweating. Was he truly that obvious? He didn't want her to know, didn't want her to keep teasing him about it, because Allison absolutely would hold this over his head and make his life miserable. It wasn't like he could sit here and explain it to her—how he purposely let her tease him so he could hear her laugh, how he felt himself flush just a little when she glanced his way, how jealous he became when he noticed she was on the arm some other guy.

And judging by the smirk on her face, the way she kept staring at him now, she wasn't fooled for one second. His gaze flickered to hers and he trailed off, a slight frown on his face, and he cleared his throat, looking down at his paper.

"You don't have to be shy, Leonard." Her tone was teasing, but it held a challenge, too, and he knew the smug expression she must be wearing. "Want to share your innermost thoughts?"

"No," he said, angling his head toward her for an instant but not meeting her gaze, returning it to the sheet of paper in front of him. "'S nothing."

"Nothing?" She snorted and pushed her arm against his, causing him to leave a slash of graphite on his paper.

"What do you want me to say, Allison?" he asked, this time looking at her, irritated with her for pushing it, asking him to say something when by now he knew full well she had caught on to his infatuation, and he was going to lay his hand on her arm, to meet her shove for shove—

But instead she reeled him in and she was kissing him, or maybe he had kissed her; afterward he could never remember exactly. Now, it wasn't that he was inexperienced. He'd kissed plenty of girls (well, a few) in his time, but it must have been because he'd been anticipating this for so very long, because he pressed into it too eagerly, hands fumbling too awkwardly, to come off as though he knew what he was doing. She chuckled against his mouth and moved her hands around his waist, turning in her chair, and set one of her legs between his knees. He let out a sound, and nervous, shaky, pleased grunt, and this time she laughed openly.

"I didn't know you were so innocent, Leonard," she teased, and pressed back in, taking the lead more firmly now, moving a hand to the back of his head.

No, nope, his first mistake was in letting this happen in an empty physics classroom. He should have asked her out a long time ago and this could be happening somewhere a lot more advantageous, somewhere where she'd let him get away with moving his hands up her waist like _this_, finger at the hem of her shirt as he pushed it out of the way, slide his hands on her skin, oh fuck her skin was so soft and it felt so nice he just wanted to—

"A-hem."

The two of them pulled apart with haste, Leonard guiltily flushing and turning sullenly toward his paper, as though pretending nothing had been seen would somehow fix things. Allison remained in place, sitting upright, coolly crossing her legs.

Mr. Lucci, thankfully, seemed inclined to let the incident pass by. At least it seemed that way when he sat down at his desk and merely raised his eyebrow at them before beginning work on something or other. It wasn't until after Leonard had managed to recover, clearing his throat, and show her the rest of the proofs that Mr. Lucci arose and handed each of them a piece of paper. "You've been reassigned to another tutor, Allison. Leonard, I'll let you know if I have another student who needs your assistance."

Leonard took the slip quietly, folding it into a square after reading it, and stuck it in his pocket. Somehow that extra credit didn't seem so important now.

* * *

In the end it turned out his biggest mistake was in not walking her to her locker.

Leonard maneuvered his car—an older model, in some disrepair, motor growling with the strain of being forced to continue running when it should have long ago given up the ghost—out of the student parking lot, his mind still lingering on the feeling of Allison's lips on his. By the time he'd returned to his locker and gotten his stuff packed for the day, he'd lost track of her. But he figured she couldn't have gotten too far. He knew she didn't have a car of her own, but hopefully she'd used one of the doors on this side—this was the direction her house was in, at least if she still lived in that place. He kept scanning the nearby premises, first as he made his way out to his car, and now as he made his way farther from the building. He couldn't help it—he needed to talk to her about what had happened. Normally, their outward relationship seemed to be all about contention and insults. Now he wanted nothing more than to learn what this would change. Maybe this was the start of a whole new phase for them.

But there was something he just couldn't account for. Why had she taken that risk in the first place? If it weren't for Mr. Lucci's practicality they would have both been in a lot more trouble. At least the teacher had understood how little good assigning in-school suspension for a thing like that would do. But his solution had left Leonard with little choice than to do what he was doing now. There was no way he was going to try to talk to her about this at lunch.

He pulled his car down the street she should have taken to get to her house—hoping to intercept her and offer her a ride—but he didn't see her anywhere. He didn't mean to do it at first, but before long he realized that he was just going to end up driving all the way there and gave in to the fact that he'd missed her. He pulled his car up in front once he'd arrived and waited a while. He could hear people talking inside. Raucous laughter echoed down the street. He had waited plenty of time for her to appear. _Where is she?_

Leonard rose and walked up the broken concrete walkway to the door. He could see into the room through the storm door. All the shades were down and a couple was draped over each other on the couch, holding beer bottles. The coffee table was covered in ashtrays and discarded packages of food. He knocked and Allison's mother appeared from the passage that led to the kitchen in the back of the house, her eyes narrowed slightly and her lips pursed, her tone of voice sharp when she spoke. "What do you want?"

He remembered her name—it was Alina—but he had barely known her, considering the way Allison was always avoiding going home. Hopefully his presence here wasn't seen as too untoward. "Hi. Ah. I was just looking for Allison. Has she gotten home from school yet?"

Alina looked at him coldly for a moment. "Who the hell are you?"

"Leonard Church. You know…I used to live across the street?"

"Oh?" Alina gave him another look, but that seemed to placate her enough for her to offer up an answer. "I haven't seen Allison in a while. You might try back later."

He glanced back at his car. "Okay. So…sometime after dinner, maybe?"

"No." Alina shook her head, scoffing slightly. "I don't think she'll come back that soon."

At least he'd have time to run home and eat, then. "Is it okay for me to stop back later on, then?"

This time Alina let out a little bark of laughter. "No. She won't be around until the next time she wears out her welcome wherever it is she's staying right now. Could be, oh…two weeks, two months… No way of telling."

Leonard's heart turned to ice in his chest. "So…Allison doesn't actually live here?"

"Only when it's convenient for her." Alina laughed, her voice raspy. "She's got a mind of her own, that's for sure."

Leonard shook his head in disbelief. "I'll just try back some other time." He turned and walked back to his car. The din of the usual neighborhood noise faded into the background as the memories danced just behind his vision. He started his car and started weaving up and down the streets, finding their old haunts. His former house, now boarded up, with an overgrown lawn. There was the alley where they used to take turns riding his skateboard. The parking lot where they'd watch the neighborhood kids playing kickball.

_Allison, where are you?_ He continued to weave through the streets until dusk, unwilling to give up until he was forced to flick on his headlights.


	4. Secret's Out

The next day he sat at his usual table at lunch. A night and a day left him unsure of what to think of the events of yesterday. He wasn't ready to approach her, but he kept glancing at her, not exactly trying to catch her eye. But she noticed him looking at her, and flipped him off, smirking. He grinned. He didn't quite understand it. Here she was, acting the way she always did toward him.

He was relieved when the final bell rang. He was ready this time, and packed everything up before his final class. This time he was able to head right for the hallway her locker was in.

By the time he reached it, she was already heading for an exit, and he sped his strides. "Allison! Allison, wait up!"

She glanced back, and then continued walking. After that she didn't show any sign that she could hear him calling. She was heading to a different exit than he would have expected if she was going to head home, but at this point that wasn't surprising. He broke into a jog and beat her to the door to hold it open for her. "Hey, Allison. Hey!" She breezed past him. "I want to talk to you."

"Obviously." She glanced at him again, this time to her side. "What the hell for?"

"You know." He tilted his head with a half-shrug. "About yesterday? That whole thing where you grabbed me and kissed me?"

"I wasn't the one doing the grabbing," she said, a wry curve to her lips. "And I don't see the point."

He'd been starting to think she would say something like that. "You were grabbing me just as much as I was grabbing you. I think we're even on that score."

She waved dismissively. "I wasn't keeping score."

"If you were keeping score, you'd have to admit it'd be pretty high." Except for that whole over-eager thing he'd had going on at first. But, unknown to her, that wasn't even the point. "Besides, look. Maybe you don't want to talk about it? But you can at least let me give you a ride and pick you up a burger."

She laughed. "You can't be serious."

"Can't ask for better company." He looked to the side to gauge her expression. She did seem to be wavering. Which was something he'd been counting on. "Come on, you know you want to."

She sighed. And she smiled. "I don't think I agree about the company. But I'll take you up on that. _If_ you buy me dinner." She had that mischievous sparkle in her eye, and he knew his wallet was going to be hurting after this. He felt sort of bad about bribing her into it. But at least she had agreed.

* * *

Leonard sat in silence as Allison ate. He had tried talking to her for a while, but ever since she got her food, she wasn't really acknowledging anything he said. Finally she was sucking back the last of her soda and her gaze finally fell on him.

"So…?" Her meal seemed to lift her spirits and there was her teasing smile, and the sparkle in her eye. "What happened to talking? I know you're not giving up that easily."

"Who said I'm giving up?" He pulled out his wallet again. "You still want that sundae?"

Allie stretched, her back arching, before she relaxed into the booth again. "I'm a little full right now."

"I would think so, after two burgers." He shrugged and tucked his wallet away again, then set his hand on the gearshift to begin pulling out of the parking lot.

She batted at his arm. "Wait, what are you doing? I still want the ice cream."

"Just driving around. We can come back." He wasn't going to say so, but he was concerned that she'd just run off on him if he brought this up while they were parked. And something about the dynamic made it easier for him. If he was driving he didn't have to worry about the awkwardness of looking her in the face while they discussed such a serious topic.

She crossed her arms and slouched further. "So? Talk, idiot."

How was he supposed to bring this up? Might as well just plunge in. "So, listen. I stopped by your place yesterday. Talked to your mom."

She frowned, her expression darkening. "…About what?"

"Stuff. Mostly about where it is you're staying."

Now she was closing herself off. Her arms were still crossed and she sat up higher. "It's none of your business. And you're a nosy bastard."

"Hey. When someone I care about is having problems? I make it my business."

Allison raised an eyebrow, scoffing. "What the hell are you talking about? I thought I was just some slut as far as you were concerned."

Did she honestly think that? He shook his head disbelievingly. She hadn't responded, so he plowed ahead. "So _do_ you have anywhere to stay?"

There was a long pause while Allison studied the view out the window. "Look. Leonard," she finally replied. "I don't know what you're hoping for—"

"I just want to make sure you're safe."

Now she looked at him. He didn't look at her but he could tell from her tone that she had an eyebrow raised in skepticism. "Yeah. Right."

"You don't believe that? Do you remember that summer I lived across from you or not? Me and dad, that's what we both wanted to make sure of. You didn't want to go home for _some_ reason, right?"

This question was met with a stony stare.

"Huh," he said. "You still haven't answered me."

After a pause, Allison scoffed in exasperation. "Okay, look. I've been staying with this guy Randy, but he's my ex, and he got mad at me a couple of days ago. He kicked me out. And… I slept in mom's crawl space last night."

"You've been staying in the _crawl space_?" Leonard drew his lips back, aghast. What a horrible place to try and sleep.

"Only when I have to," she said defensively.

He glanced at her. "How often do you have to?"

"Well," she said, more slowly. "Look, it's often enough that I'm considering your offer. If…it is an offer."

"Well, yeah," he said with a shrug. "I asked my dad about it. You know how open we are about stuff. He said that if you need a place to stay…"

She threw her crumpled burger wrapper at his head. "How do you get away with this kind of shit?"

He shot her a smirk. "I lead a charmed life, babe."

"Okay, number one? Don't call me that. And I don't believe _that _for a second."

* * *

_AN: Please favorite or review if you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks!_


	5. Sleeping Quarters

Allison was contentedly munching on her ice cream as Leonard pulled up to his house. "Here it is," he said.

"I didn't think you were just pulling up to a random house, Leonard." She got out of the car and he followed suit, walking around the car to open the back door to retrieve their bags. "Looks nice," she added. "Too bad I've never been here before."

"I've lived here for three years. Nothing was stopping you."

She scoffed, just a little, and gave him a look, handing him her empty sundae container. "We'll just say it was easier to visit when you lived across the street."

He accepted it with mild confusion, then hefted the bags as he followed her to his front door. "What is that, some kind of accusation? Of course it was."

She shook her head, rolling her eyes. "Well, didn't you just come up in the world. Look at this place."

"We don't live in a mansion or anything, it's just an ordinary house." Yes, nicer than the neighborhood she lived in, or the one he had lived in before, in Atlanta. It was a lot of little things, in those places, the occasional broken window, maybe a tarp for a patch on someone's roof, even the lack of many flowers that weren't weeds in people's yards. He told himself that wasn't significant, either. It was hard to believe that, though, with the way she was reacting.

She watched him when they reached the door. He was trying to maintain his grip on both of the bags while he tried to get a hold on his house key. "Say, uh… What are you expecting from me for this, anyway? I mean, is it time to negotiate or what?"

"Just give me a minute, Allison." The damned key ring insisted on flipping over just when he had the key in reach. "We'll talk about it after we're inside."

"Why, you worried about one of your neighbors overhearing you making arrangements with your new concubine?" She grabbed the keys out of his fumbling fingers and brandished them. "Which one is it?"

"Goddammit." Leonard lost his grip on the bags when she yanked the keys out of his hand and they fell onto the porch. "I told you we'd talk inside. Don't be so dramatic."

She pulled the keys away out of his grasp. "Which key?"

"The gold one that's on the same ring as my car keys." Leonard heaved an exasperated sigh as he picked the bags back up. _Centuries of technological progress and we still have to haul heavy textbooks to school, _he thought.

Allison unlocked the door and sauntered into the house. "Wow, look at this place. It's like…" She frowned. "Clean."

"Well, that's what happens when you can afford to pay for someone to vacuum." Leonard set the bags down on the coffee table and sat on the couch. He didn't bother to mention the person who got paid to clean was himself. Leaving it at that sounded more impressive.

Allison had wandered into the kitchen and was rooting around in the fridge. Finally, she grabbed an apple and bit into it. "I thought we were talking now."

"What are you, starving to death?" He regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. It could very well be true. She shot him a look but didn't respond. He cleared his throat, then plowed ahead. If he ignored it, he wouldn't have to apologize. "Come with me and I'll show you around," he said, shouldering his bag and holding the strap of hers in both hands.

"Right," she said. "You want to talk _upstairs_." She bumped him as she walked by, leading the way. He already knew what she was thinking, and her knowing tone didn't make it any better.

He sort of wished she was right.

Leonard joined her at the top of the stairs and motioned into the first room. "That's my room there."

"You mean 'our' room?" Allie quizzically raised an eyebrow. "Oh, fuck, you still have those bunk beds?" She laughed. "Am I sleeping on the top bunk?"

"No, Allison." He gestured toward the room further into the hallway, across the way from his. "You'll stay in the guest room."

"What the hell?" Allison crossed her arms and gave him a skeptical look. "Why would you ask me to stay here and not sleep with you?"

Leonard couldn't help but sigh under her piercing gaze. "Look, I know that you know how I feel about you. If it were up to me you _would_ be sleeping in my bed."

Allison scoffed. "Then why aren't I?"

"Yesterday, what happened in detention? Whatever that was, wasn't about me. I thought so at first, but…" He shook his head and looked away from her stony stare. "Well, anyway, I didn't arrange this because I think you fell madly in love with me. And I'm not doing this to try and make you hook up with me. I'm doing this because I couldn't stand knowing you needed a safe place to sleep and not do anything about it. If you never decide to come down to my room, I'm fine with that. But hey," he added, looking at her again, "if you _do_ decide you'd like to…"

Allison scoffed again. "Yeah. All out of the goodness of your heart." She gave him a dead-eye look, turned and walked into the guest room, slamming the door behind her.

"I've still got your bag," Leonard called through the door.

No response. Leonard left the bag where it lay and went in his room. She had almost seemed offended that he didn't plan to use her for sex. He let the door click closed behind him and leaned back against it. He didn't know if what he felt for her was love or something less mature, but he did know what trying to force her into anything would do. He remembered that night with the playing cards, the way she'd reacted to his expression. He wasn't going to drive her away. Even if it meant he got to fuck her.

He clenched his eyes shut. This was going to be the hardest thing he'd ever done.


	6. Domestic Dispute

For the next two days she met him out at his car after school for the ride to his house. They hadn't really spoken about it, but it seemed that she was comfortable to stay with him for now. He was grateful for that. He wanted to protect her from her old life, keep her safe. Without realizing it he had started to see himself as her protector. She should never have to suffer hardship again.

On the third day, he expected things to be the same, but here he was, watching as most of the student body walked out of the school and most of the cars had pulled away. It was Friday, so there was a mass exodus that was not seen on the other days of the week.

Allison had not been in any of the places he usually saw her after lunch period. In reality, he knew that she had skipped out of school at some point, but he waited for her anyway. Eventually he gave into facts and climbed into the driver's seat, his movements reluctant. It wasn't like she was obligated to stay with him. And he knew that.

Upon arriving, as he walked up to his house, considering how he would approach her the next time he saw her, he became dimly aware that he could hear music, thumping through the walls of the house. Opening the front door confirmed what he was hearing, and laughter and talking filtered into his ears from the stairwell. He frowned, setting his bag down. One of the voices was low-pitched. _I can't believe she brought some guy here._

He trudged up the stairs. He could tell now that the sounds were coming from his room and not hers. The door was open and as he crested the top of the staircase he quickly began to regret his approach. Allison was facing the door, straddled over her ex-boyfriend, Randy, who was lying on Leonard's weight bench. Her shirt was unbuttoned, and the lacy fabric of her bra peeked out. His eyes didn't linger on that, though it normally would have been a welcome sight. Instead he gripped the doorjamb, disgusted and angry. Randy was ten years or so older than he and Allison. He'd been a neighbor of hers, and Leonard had never liked him.

"Hey, Leonard!" Allison laughed, seemingly enjoying his discomfort. Randy's head craned to look in his direction. "You want to watch? It'll be the next best thing to being able to fuck me yourself!"

Leonard felt rage climbing his face, a red flush betraying his anger. He was too angry to speak.

Allison's eyebrows lifted and she rested her hands on Randy's chest to lean forward and leer. "What's wrong? I thought you said you didn't care if I wanted to be with you or not?" She was still laughing like a jovial drunk, but Leonard could tell now how much of it was an act. Her eyes were like stone—she was in complete control of herself. She was trying to get at him, make him hurt.

Leonard pressed his lips into a thin line, finally regaining his faculties well enough to speak. "You know _damn_ well what I said, Allison. I'm not going to force you to do anything. You want to be with Randy, fine. You want to fuck him? You do it in your room, not mine."

Leonard slammed the door, overhearing the beginning of an argument between the two occupants of the room, but not caring. He rushed back down the stairs. He didn't know if he wanted to hit something, throw something, or, well, throw something while he hit it. Actually he wanted to rip out Allison's esophagus and stomp on it.

Instead he went out into the driveway and picked up his basketball. He dribbled it like he was trying to knock all the air out of it. He made a pounding throw toward the backboard. The ball bounced off wildly, eventually ceasing to bounce as it rolled into the grass. Leonard plunked himself down right on the pavement. He realized angry tears had clouded his vision and he rubbed his face to get rid of them. Yes, he'd known she was capable of this kind of thing, but he had hoped…

"You naïve asshole," he muttered to himself. Like Allie was going to forget how she was raised, everything she learned as she grew up. He knew her childhood hadn't been ideal, and even her desire to escape from her mother's home in her own measure didn't mean she was free of its influence.

Soon after Randy opened the front door of the house, exiting with a slam. "Good luck with that bitch," he said. "You know she told me this was her father's house?" He scoffed and took a drink from the bottle of alcohol he'd carried out of the house with him. "You can have her, I don't want anything else to do with her."

Leonard stood as Randy spoke and crossed his arms. "Well, good; you're no good for her anyway."

Randy laughed. "_I'm_ no good for _her? _She's just like her damn mother. You let her stay here, she'll turn it into a whorehouse."

Leonard took a step forward and let his tall frame tower over the older man. "Get the hell off my property."

"Yeah, waste your energy defending that trash. I'm outta here." Randy swung around and headed off. Leonard watched as Randy walked unsteadily to the end of the street and turned the corner.

With a resigned sigh Leonard opened the front door and went inside. Everything was silent now. He treaded cautiously up the stairs. No one in his room.

Just as well. He'd gone from wishing Allison would stay to not wanting even to see her face in the space of less than an hour.

* * *

A few hours later Leonard looked up at the sound of rapping on his bedroom door. It took him a few moments to register what was going on, finally arising at the second tap. He was fairly sure he was going to see Allison standing there when he opened the door, and not his father. He wasn't sure how he was going to react to her, but he could never ignore her.

Allison looked somehow raw when he opened the door, her hair pushed back off of her forehead and her brow creased. She'd changed into some lightweight pajamas, apparently planning to go to bed. "Hey," she said.

"What?" He didn't sound as short as he meant to. Maybe it was the vulnerability of her coming to him like this, but as soon as he saw her his irritation with her had begun to fade.

"Need to talk to you," she said, looking away a little with a shrug.

"Yeah. Come in." This had better be good, that was all he knew. He sat down on the edge of the bed, a little surprised when she joined him there.

"Look…I'm sorry. About earlier. I don't know why I did that. I expected you to kick me out afterwards."

He let out a small snort. "If you wanted to leave, all you had to do was say so."

"I don't, though. I…" She sighed and shrugged. "Thanks for not doing it, anyway."

"As long as you promise not to do anything like that again." Because he wouldn't be able to handle seeing her like that with another guy again. He could barely handle it this time. He was probably crazy for not doing exactly what she'd said. He figured she at least deserved one more chance.

She leaned on him, setting her head on his shoulder. "You shouldn't put up with me."

He fended off a fleeting desire to push her off. After a momentary hesitation he set his arm lightly around her waist. "Yeah, well, maybe I like putting up with you. It's like a hobby."

"Well, you shouldn't." She sighed and then pulled away from him, pushing back further onto his bed and lying down on it. "You mind if I stay?"

"Uh, no. Why would I?" All thoughts of earlier left him as he grinned and stretched out next to her, hands behind his head. "That irresistible, huh?"

She scoffed. "Don't flatter yourself." She leaned her head on his against his chest and closed her eyes.

He watched her, somewhat in wonder, not sure what was going on. After a time he lowers his arms, curling one around her shoulders.

"We never did this when we were younger," she muttered. "It's nice."

Leonard grunted. "Nice. Yeah."

Her eyes opened. "What?"

He smiled wryly. "Oh, I don't know, you just seem awfully eager to get into bed with me all of a sudden."

She scoffed and thumped her hand against his chest, closing her eyes again. "Don't get your hopes up."


	7. Reunited

Leonard lay awake, listening to Allison's breathing. He had fallen asleep and dozed for a while but then had awoken sometime after dusk and been unable to return to sleep. He was trying to think of anything but the press of her body up against him. The urge to touch her was becoming harder and harder to resist. Unfortunately every time he thought of an unsexy thing to think about his mind brought up a memory that led back to her; antagonizing him in the hallways, in the lunch room, flirting in her own way, something he hadn't known to recognize until the events of the last week took place.

His hand was lying on her waist. _When did I move my hand?_ He could feel the hem of the pajama top. The temptation was too much now. He held his breath, swallowing. His fingertips brushed under the hem and felt her skin. Now all thoughts of resistance were gone. He had been aching to touch her like this. Had she really meant for nothing to happen when she'd come here? He snaked his hand in under the hem and glided it up her belly, feeling the soft, taut skin with his palm.

In a flash she was awake and had him pinned, her knee on his chest. In the gloom he was surprised to see that she was holding the point of a pocketknife in his face. "Haven't I told you to keep your fucking hands off me?" Her tone was filled with growling anger but her expression gave way to something apologetic and she rubbed her head where it had bumped into the bunk above. "Leonard. I forgot where I was." She plunked down onto the bed and folded the knife up. "Sorry."

It took a moment for Leonard's tongue to loosen. "_Sorry_?"

She shook her head, turning to sit on the edge of the bed with her back to him. She stuffed the knife back in the pocket of the pajama pants.

He sat up next to her. "Hey, Allison, what was that? Why do you have a knife?"

"In case you haven't noticed, I don't come from the nicest area of town."

"I know that." He shook his head as if that would clear it somehow and make this make sense. Her words now didn't add up with her actions and he was genuinely confused. "You've never told me to keep my hands off of you before."

"I wasn't talking about you. I thought…" She turned her head, looking away from him. "Forget it."

"Did you think I was someone else?" He took her silence as an affirmative. "Who?"

She paused before answering. "Some guy. One of mom's boyfriends. I don't know who he was."

"Some guy?" Leonard's mind was churning. It was still sluggish from sleep, but some of the pieces of the puzzle were falling into place. "Did someone hurt you?"

He tone grew darker. "It doesn't matter."

Neither of them moved, though he felt like shifting closer. "It matters to me."

"He should have kept his hands to himself." She made a small sound, something like the sound one makes when stifling back tears, but Leonard knew she wasn't crying. Wouldn't cry, not even over something like this. "That's when I started sleeping in the crawlspace. I couldn't stand the idea of that happening again."

Leonard couldn't think of anything to say. It didn't matter, though, because she kept talking.

"It was the worst day of my life. First you told me you were moving away, and then that creep…" She slouched back, lip curling in disgust. "I didn't think I could trust you anymore. I…I felt like everyone knew. It was stupid, but that's what I thought."

Leonard felt as though his body had gone heavy, like a dead weight. He didn't know how to respond to something like that. He wanted to hunt down that person and hurt him, but what could he do about it? Nothing, that was what.

Allison was watching him. She shook her head when she saw his expression, and rubbed his shoulder as though to assure him. Then she climbed onto his lap, sitting sideways, and kissed him.

Leonard's heart beat in his ears. He resisted for a moment, not wanting to take advantage of her at a vulnerable moment. Then he realized she was coming to him for comfort. Surely he couldn't deny her that. As she kissed him she turned to straddle him. He put one of his hands in her hair. It was silky soft. His thoughts thudded in his mind, almost as if he was trying to transmit them to her, making a promise through the touch of his hands and the way he caressed her. _You'll never hurt like that again._

As the passion heightened in their kiss he felt a pang of apprehension. He couldn't come on too aggressive. "Allison," he mumbled through their kiss. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"Shut up." She reached up and unbuttoned the pajama top, taking them one at a time. That was close enough to permission for him. Their motions became frenetic as they disrobed and stretched out on the bed together, their lips scarcely parting, breath coming in pants and gasps. He reached his hand into the bedside table drawer and pulled out a condom.

It was strange; doing this, he felt much less awkward than he had when they'd kissed in that classroom. After all, he was in his own bed—the bottom bunk of a childish bunk bed, sure, but it was his own territory. As their motions settled into a steady rhythm, she looked up at him with a knowing smirk. He was gazing down into her face, not willing to miss one moment of it, of her.

Before long he was rocking against her as he finished. He collapsed onto her, breathing heavily. That had been better than he'd ever dared to dream.

She pushed back, propping herself up on his pillow. "Wow. That was beautiful."

He let her move, then let his head rest against her chest, kissing lightly here and there. "Mmm."

She brushed a hand over his hair. "No, really. You acted like you cared that it was _me_ with you, you know? Not just some random fuckhole."

Leonard raised his head to look up at her, then rolled onto his side, coming to rest beside her, watching her face. He didn't really want to contemplate the experiences behind her statement, but he wasn't going to quash the sentiment. "Yeah, I did, Allison. I do."

They lapsed into silence, their breathing slowing into a contented rhythm. It wasn't long, though, before she sat up and pulled the pajama top around her shoulders. Then she stood up and shimmied into the pajama bottoms. He watched with regret as the waistband rose. His glimpses of her bare form had been too brief so far.

She stretched her arms out to show that she was now fully clothed. "Show's over, Church."

He rolled his eyes, sitting up to clean himself up. He only went by his last name at school, a legacy of his basketball days. He didn't know why she suddenly switched to that. "You didn't have to get dressed so soon."

"I'm hungry," she said with a shrug. "You going to fix something for your guest?"

"Maybe if you ask nicer than that." He pulled his clothes over to himself and started to get dressed. Despite his words, it was obvious he was already planning to accommodate her.

"Right," she said with a smirk. "I'll meet you down there."


	8. If You Can't Take the Heat

It was late evening when they made their way down the stairs, Allison watching from the dinette table while Leonard drizzled pancake batter onto the griddle. She was smirking at him every time he glanced at her.

"What the hell are you smiling at?"

She shrugged, standing to join him, leaning against the counter. "Just something about you cooking for me. I find it humorous."

He tried to hand her the spatula. "You can do the cooking if you prefer."

"I've never cooked a thing in my life," she laughed, pushing his hand away. "Where did you learn to cook, anyway?"

Leonard turned the box of pancake mix and pointed at the directions on the back. "It's not rocket surgery."

"Rocket surgery?" Allison's laughter deepened. "Where did you get that?"

"It's just a silly expression my dad uses."

As if on cue, the front door lock turned and Leonard's father walked in the door. It was easy to see the resemblance between father and son. Lawrence Church looked like an older version of his son, but with sandy blond hair rather than Leonard's black hair. As he opened the door he had his briefcase in one hand and his suit jacket and tie draped over the other arm.

"Well, look who's here!" Lawrence opened the front closet and set his things inside. "Allison Beth. You have definitely grown up. How is your landlord treating you?"

"Landlord?" She raised her eyebrows and looked curiously at Leonard.

"Dad," Leonard protested, shaking his head slightly.

"All right, Leonard, I've said my piece on the matter." Lawrence chuckled and sat at the table, Allison joining him soon after. "I trust you've had a pleasant stay so far."

"Oh, very," she assured him. No need for Lawrence to know about the drama of the last day.

"Hmm; well, that's very nice. Can you serve me up a plate, Len?"

"Yes, sir." Leonard scooped up the first batch of pancakes and put down two plates for Allison and his dad.

After the meal and some small talk Leonard got up. "I'll be right back." He headed upstairs and they heard the sound of the bathroom door clicking closed.

"So, Allison." Lawrence got up and cleared their plates and sat back down as he spoke. "I wonder if we can talk for a few moments while Leonard is otherwise occupied."

"Sure." She was vaguely uncomfortable, but kept her strong façade up. She wasn't used to taking instruction from men. In fact in the last few years she had taken care of every one of her own needs by herself. Sure it had meant sneaking into her mother's house and it meant stealing sometimes, but she got to take care of herself. It was strange to be beholden to other people now.

"I just want to ask you not to break my son's heart, if at all possible."

Allison didn't respond to this at all. She only stared at him.

Lawrence laughed softly. "Leonard seems to think he can save you from yourself. Matter of fact he's been talking about doing something like this for you since we moved here. But I've been around the block enough times to know people don't change so easily. I'll understand if you feel that this isn't going to work for you, Allison. I'm just asking you that if you don't, you try to let him down gently, all right?"

Allison didn't know what to say. She had a sense she should feel insulted, but his tone had been so gentle that she didn't feel any offense. "I think that sounds…reasonable."

"Good. Thank you, Allison." Lawrence got up and rapped the table. "I'm going to get to bed now. I'm planning to spend some time at the office in the morning. Could you let Leonard know I said good night and not to be late to work tomorrow?"

"Work? I didn't know he had a job."

"Oh, yes. That was part of the agreement to let you stay here. My friend offered him a job at the ice cream shop downtown. It should be a very good experience for him." Lawrence paused and she nodded numbly. "It's good to see you again, Allison. You have a good night now." Lawrence walked to the door of the master suite and slipped inside.

Allison had a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. She barely noticed the sound of the music that now came faintly from behind the door of the master bedroom. The ice cream shop downtown… Would Leonard really take her to his place of employment to show her off, like a trophy? And what was all this business about her not breaking Leonard's heart, anyway? Didn't they know she was capable of making her own decisions? She always made her own decisions. She wasn't going to change for him.

She was still sitting in the same spot when he came down the stairs. "Oh, did Dad go to bed?"

She didn't turn to look at him. "Yeah. He said you shouldn't be late to work tomorrow."

"Oh, shit, I forgot about that." There was an uncomfortable pause as he approached the table. She still wasn't looking up at him. "What's going on?"

"Oh, I'm just sitting here wondering why you would take me to the ice cream shop where you work to have a private conversation." She arose to look him in the face and addressed him vindictively. "I'm sure that guy behind the counter who served me my sundae loved the thrill of meeting your little whore."

Leonard was momentarily speechless. Did she really think it was like that for him? "You know we weren't even inside when we had that talk. Besides, we weren't together back then, so—"

She let out a derisive snort. "What the hell are you talking about?"

He furrowed his brow in confusion. "I mean tonight, when you came to be with me. I thought…"

Her biting laughter pierced his brain. "You are such a girl, Church! Let me inform you of something." She leaned closer to graze his ear with her lips as she spoke. "Sometimes sex is just sex." She backed up to regard the hurt on his face. "Tonight was pretty hot, but…I don't think it meant the same thing to me as it did to you."

Leonard felt like throwing up. "I can't believe…"

"Hey, I have to repay you for the room somehow. Don't have any money, so…" She laughed sardonically.

He wanted to grab her by the arm, shake her, make her understand. "Allison, I'm not interested in using you. I'm interested in _you._ I…I thought you understood that."

She looked at him contemptuously. "I guess I've never known the difference."

Leonard's eyes clouded. "Look, if you can't accept the way I feel about you, then…fine." The words were like acid in his throat. Sure there was a part of him willing to accept meaningless sex from her, what guy wouldn't? "But…don't come knocking again until you can."

With a derisive scoff, Allison turned and hiked up the stairs, her footsteps sure and steady. He heard her bedroom door click closed.

Leonard lurched over to the couch and melted onto the seat. That was the hardest thing he had ever done. His father had warned him that if he smothered her, she would despise him. It had taken everything in him not to beg her to love him, not to grovel at her feet for her acceptance. He told himself things would be all right even if he only received her scorn. At least she had a warm place to sleep at night, right?

He squeezed his eyes shut. It was going to be worth it. _It has to be._


	9. Concession

Leonard finally drifted off to sleep in his bed sometime early in the morning. His alarm went off at eight. As it blared his mind flooded with the events of the previous night. _Ugh._ It was like all his plans kept crumbling to dust in his hands. With a groan he rolled out of bed and switched off the alarm at the computer terminal in his bedroom wall. He stepped into the bathroom and turned on the light. His hands shook as he glared at his reflection in the mirror. Her words from the previous night kept rerunning in his head.

"_Tonight was pretty hot, but…I don't think it meant the same thing to me as it did to you… I don't think it meant the same thing to me as it did to you…_"

"Shut the fuck up," he muttered, pushing his hand through his hair. It was his own fault for wearing his heart on his sleeve the way he had. She'd simply taken advantage of that. Though the reason she'd done that right after sharing something so personal was something he didn't understand at all. He shook his head, still staring in the mirror, but now his thoughts were on the night before, the way she played the aggressor, pulling him against her, fingertips indenting into his skin as she kissed him, with what he took at the time for passion, but as he considered the way she had been, how she had acted, it seemed almost like she had been driven by anger.

His eyes focused back on to his reflection. It had been just as it had been in that physics classroom. Whatever issue she was dealing with, she was using him as a proxy to work through it, and his feelings for her were the victim. After a pause he made a sound of exasperation and let go of the counter. He started back down the hall toward his bedroom, abandoning the idea of taking a shower before work today. He just wanted to get out of here.

As he stepped out of the bathroom he could see that Allison's door was hanging open, just wide enough for him to see the end of the bed and he unconsciously held his breath as he walked up to it. Allison was lying on top of the blankets, though she had an armful of the comforter crumpled up with her face partially buried in the folds. It was subtle, but he could see that her closed eyes were underlined with red blotches. Had she…actually been crying?

Maybe all her bravado the previous night had been an act. He kept telling himself to get going but he lingered for a few moments. "You think I'm trying to use you," he muttered. Because that's what it was, he realized. She seemed to be trying to prove it with everything she did. He rubbed his hand across his forehead, frustrated. He was trying to ignore his memories of the night before, but the more he tried to drive it away, the more it dominated his thoughts.

So he dressed for work, and left in a daze, only able to think of her. The work day dragged on so long. He learned to scoop ice cream, mix up milkshakes, and ring up orders. It was the first Saturday in April, which meant the beginning of baseball. It was also unusually hot. There were droves of people coming in for a treat. He ended up staying for ten hours instead of the scheduled seven. The shop was inundated with customers the whole day through.

Finally his manager told him that he could leave. "Is it always like this?" Leonard asked.

"No. I guess word got out there was a rookie training today, and everyone in town wanted to make life hard for you." The manager smiled and shook his hand. "You're a good worker. I'm glad you're one of my employees."

"I've never worked like that in my life." Leonard laughed. "I'll have to get used to this."

"Well, I look forward to seeing you on Monday."

"Thanks." Leonard waved at his manager and new coworkers and hopped into his car. As he drove home he realized it had been hours since he had thought of Allison. He was glad for the mental break. Working was a good distraction from her drama.

When he entered the house, music was blaring in the front room. He touched the screen of the computer terminal in the wall to silence it. The kitchen showed clear evidence that she had fixed herself something to eat. "Allison?" No answer.

He wandered into the kitchen, shaking his head. She'd left a mess on the counter, all the fixings for a ham sandwich in evidence with open packages. _It's seven o'clock at night after I've worked a ten-hour day. This is just about the last thing I want to do._ By now he was nearly certain she'd done this just to aggravate him. He turned his back on the mess, determining that he would just tell her to clean it up later.

Leonard took a fast shower in the master suite, got dressed in fresh clothes from the laundry room, and went out on the back patio. Along with the freedom he had from having a workaholic for a father came the ability to indulge in a few vices, and after a long day of work at a new job, relaxing by smoking some pot sounded very attractive right now. The drug had become legal some years back and he had several left out of a small package of the cigarettes he had purchased.

As he sat and smoked he thought of the conversation he had had with his father after he'd learned that Allison had become homeless. Lawrence was always taking advantage of occasions like this to lecture him on the importance of behaving responsibly. He knew it was true, he always had, but he'd never been quite so amenable to his father's words as he had on that occasion. Maybe he cared more about Allison's future than his own, his father had suggested with some irony. And so the conditions were set, and Leonard knew Allison's continuing to live in his home depended on his continued responsible behavior. But if there was any good time for him to smoke, this was it. He didn't have anywhere to be and no one to answer to.

He was nearly finished when the patio door rumbled open. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

He didn't move from his reclined position in the patio chair, not thinking much of her tone. "Relaxing."

She stepped into his line of sight. "I hate that shit. Put it out."

He raised an eyebrow. "Come _on_, Allison." He brought his hand to his mouth again.

She snatched the end of the slim paper tube, nearly burning her fingers in the process, and tossed it out into the lawn.

"Hey!" Leonard hopped up, making a motion to jog out into the lawn and find it.

She grabbed onto his shirt, twisting the collar. "Next time you touch any of that shit I am gone, Leonard!"

"What? What the fuck do you care? We're not even together, remember?" Throwing her words back into her face felt good. He was tired of being the saint. He stared into her eyes, glowering.

"Are you trying to make sure it never happens?" she replied, eyes narrowed, hand jerking reflexively at his collar.

Leonard stepped back slightly, abashed. Leave it to her to use something like that to hang over his head. Recovering his wits he swatted her hand off of his collar. "Keep your fucking hands off me."

From her expression it was obvious she had not expected his reaction to that. "What?"

"If we're not together you have no reason to touch me," he said. "So don't."

She jerked her hands down to her sides. They both stood silent, at a stand-off, staring each other down. Neither seemed willing to be the one who would back off.

Leonard was the first to make a move. He simply turned around and walked around to the front of the house. He picked up his basketball and dribbled it absentmindedly to the end of the driveway. The sun was just beginning to lower in the sky, ready to dip below the line of the houses around him. He turned around to take a jump shot but was surprised to see her walking toward him. She was halfway between him and the basket and approaching quickly.

"Leonard, don't turn your back on me."

He set up his shot again and took it. It bounced off the backboard and into the grass. "Are you being literal, or metaphorical?"

"What? You just turned your fucking back on me and walked away."

"So, literal then."

She scoffed. "You are such a _nerd_."

"Listen, Allison. I am simply trying to unwind after a long week. You might not realize it, but living with you is a lot of work. So I am trying to relax and not deal with any drama. Can you handle that?"

She scowled, insulted. "What do you mean, 'drama'?"

"The usual definition of the word drama?" Leonard shook his head and headed over to his basketball. He put it in its place on the front porch and opened the door. She was following him.

"You did it again, Leonard!"

"Okay, no." Leonard wheeled around to gesture in her face. "This is not happening right now. See, I am going upstairs, and I am going to get myself another joint, and I am going to enjoy it. In peace. Alone. All right?"

"No." Allison's anger shone in her eyes.

"What in the hell, Allison. If I'm not with you, and you're not with me, then there is no damn reason for you to object."

Another stand-off. But the anger in Allison's eyes dimmed. Her next words were uncharacteristically pleading and sincere. "Please, Leonard… Please."

Leonard just stared at her. He started up the stairs.

"Leonard! I meant what I said! You pick up another joint and I'm going to hitchhike to Nebraska!"

In the time it took him to walk into his room and grab the pack of joints, she had climbed the stairs to her room and slammed the door. He walked across the hall and opened it. She was angrily stuffing her clothes back into her school bag. He tossed the pack onto her bed. She froze, staring at it.

He couldn't help but look at it wistfully for a second before turning and trudging away. He had bought a pack of twelve and he still had six of them left._Stupid fucking waste of money_. Half of him—okay, more than half—wanted to turn around and snatch them back up. He clenched and unclenched his fists as he entered his bedroom.

Just for the change of pace, he clambered over the railing of the top bunk and stretched out with his head at the foot end of the bed. That's how he felt, out of kilter and upside down. He was starting to wonder if this whole thing was worth it. Maybe he should let her take care of her own problems. She had obviously been fine finding her own sleeping arrangements in the past.

He heard her footsteps go down the hall, followed by the flushing of the toilet. The footsteps padded up the hall. She was standing in his doorway now. She didn't say anything, just stood there.

"Go away." He rolled onto his side to face the wall.

Her footsteps faded away and silence reigned. Leonard shut his eyes, wallowing in self-pity. When sleep overtook him he didn't notice when she came in and turned out the light.


	10. Connection

Day by day, he realized Allison wasn't planning to leave. She was always waiting by his car at the end of the school day. They settled into the routine of it, the mundaneness of the mornings and the long afternoons doing homework. It was comfortable, like they had been doing it for years. He thought she must feel safer with him than anywhere else. And he liked that. They fought sometimes, but it was about things like shower schedules and late-night music. The subject of their relationship status was never a topic.

After a while he started awakening to find her lying in bed with him. It was occasional at first, but even as it began to happen more frequently he didn't say anything about it. He suspected she was having nightmares and so he decided not to press the issue. The rest of the time she followed his mandate not to touch him. He always slipped out of bed when the alarm went off and left the snooze on so that she would wake up after he was gone. It was like a carefully executed dance, as she sometimes woke him when she arrived, and it seemed obvious to him that she usually was awoken by his leaving. But neither of them would address it.

At school she behaved towards him as she always had, antagonizing him before English class (not his strong suit, and she knew it), snatching up bits of food from his lunch as she passed in the lunch room, and just being a pain towards him in general. She had a certain persona she put on at school which didn't include being nice to him. He had a feeling that none of her friends knew where she was living. He knew for a fact that no one had figured it out when she was homeless. She had a way of being charming and well-liked without letting anyone feel they were a part of her inner circle of friends. She held everyone at arm's length. Even him.

It was now near the end of the school year, and graduation was fast approaching. It had that unreal quality, knowing that a long-desired goal was within grasp. There were events meant only for the graduating seniors, culminating with a special breakfast the week before graduation was meant to take place.

Even more unreal was the fact that Allison chose to sit beside him at one of the round decorated tables, instead of with her usual group of friends. She was wearing an outfit she had convinced him to buy for her—otherwise she wouldn't have had something suitably dressy, she claimed—and more and more as the morning continued, he couldn't help but think she was continually behaving in a way that was meant to draw his attention. She seemed to be trying to catch his eye, but every time he glanced back at her she turned her head to hide her grin behind her hair.

The seniors were free to leave the school once the breakfast was over, and Allison walked out of the room ahead of Leonard. When he got to his car she was lounging in the passenger seat. She watched him as he lowered himself into the driver's seat. Leonard glanced at her as he started the ignition and then pulled the car forward out of the parking lot.

Allison ruffled her hair with outspread fingers. "It was _so_ _hot_ in there. There were just too many people for that room to handle." She paused, her hands still on her head, and gave him a sly smile. "Don't you think so, Church?"

_Really subtle on the double entendre there._ She had to know how that position stretched her shirt over her breasts. His body was definitely responding to her flirting. He gripped the steering wheel, willing his eyes to stay on the road. "Yeah, it was, uh…it was pretty thick in there."

"It's been a while since I've felt heat like that. I can't wait until we get home and we can cool down." Allison angled her hips toward him in the seat. He involuntarily glanced at her and saw the suggestive smirk on her face. Leonard felt his Adam's apple bob up and down.

"I was thinking, maybe you could sleep in my room tonight. It would save me having to come down to your room. Since I have the bigger bed, and all. Hey, what's wrong, Church? You feel okay?"

_As if you don't know._ His jaw was clenched tightly. The temptation to forget his long-term goal and flirt back instead was strong. In his mind he was already touching her skin and smelling her hair.

She reached over and nudged his arm. "Earth to Church."

Leonard made an abrupt right turn onto a residential street. He parked in front of the first house and turned to look at her. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What? I'm just trying to talk to you."

"Don't fuck with me, Allison. Why are you flirting with me?"

She tilted her head with a sly smirk. "What's wrong Leonard? You can't handle it?"

Leonard narrowed his eyes, looking at her with suspicion. "I'm just wondering _why_."

Allison scoffed. "Hey, maybe I just really want to fuck you tonight. How's that?"

She waited for him to respond. Leonard let the silence hang, not taking his eyes off of her.

She nearly laughed. "What, Leonard? Is that so hard to believe?"

"No. I'm just thinking about how when I first brought you to live in my house and you were convinced I was trying to take advantage of you. I think you accused me of wanting you to be my 'own little whore'." Allison started to protest, but he continued speaking. "I'm just wondering how in your mind it would be wrong for me to use you, but there's no problem if you want to use me."

Allison's jaw dropped and she turned to look at him in shock. "Use you?" Her mouth fished for words for a moment before she snapped it closed, scowling.

"Yes, I said you use me. You come into my bed for your own comfort without even considering how I would feel about it."

"I haven't heard you complain—"

"Well, you can hear it now. I think we agreed that if you are not going to be with me, you're not going to touch me. So unless this is your way of saying yes…"

Allison was utterly speechless. A red flush was creeping up her neck and cheeks. She whipped her head to look out the passenger-side window. "Just fucking drive home."

Leonard had to sneak a smile. He had won an argument. And was she pissed about that.

When he pulled up in front of the house she didn't even wait until he had shifted into park before she opened the door and leapt out, slamming the door behind her. It was too bad, they'd actually made plans to hang out, but sitting down and being civilized was not going to be on her agenda right after he had won an argument. Well, that was on her head, not his. Maybe he'd get dressed and go out instead. That actually sounded pretty good. He had to work the next couple of days, so taking an evening to himself might be nice.

It wasn't until he came back down from changing that she confronted him. "You better not be trying to get away from me."

"What if I am?" It was none of her business, that was what.

She frowned. "I want to talk," she said, a small amount of reluctance showing by the way she hesitated.

"Oh yeah?" He crossed his arms. "So talk."

"Well, it's not going to happen if you act like that about it." She shot him a look and then shook her head. "Forget it."

"No, no, you started it." He uncrossed his arms, though, tilting his head to gesture for her to continue. "Talk."

She scowled at him. "It's not like this is easy." She crossed her arms and looked past him. "You're right."

"I…am?" Not that it wasn't nice to hear, but he couldn't think of what she was referring to. "About what?"

"About me being selfish," she said impatiently. "I didn't want to commit to anything, so I just decided to be a bitch about it and play both sides."

"Uh-huh." For just a second he took that at face value, ready to dismiss it and tell her to forget it, when her wording struck him. "Wait, what do you mean commit?"

"Leonard…" She still seemed to be struggling with what she meant to say, and she paused before pressing on. "I'm trying to tell you…yes." Her eyes met his; they were soft, an expression he'd never seen on her face. She was speaking nakedly, sincere. "You want a relationship with me, I don't even know what this means, but I'm saying yes."

He could have answered her, but instead he was holding on to her, kissing her impatiently, and she didn't hesitate to meet him. All this waiting and she gave in this easily, letting him guide her to the stairs, half lifting her up with him, tumbling up the stairs like gravity had reversed. He lifted her again, hands groping at her breasts eagerly, nearly shoving her forward as he headed into his room, but she laughed and shifted her hands between them to press him away slightly. "Pace yourself," she teased him, finding her feet. "You really want to go in there and use the bunk bed again?"

He scoffed, catching her arm before letting go. "I just have to grab a condom," he said, as though he'd been planning to head into her room all along.

"You'd better remember that, for as long as I made you wait," she teased, backing into the hallway.

"Well, it wasn't easy." He returned and pressed another kiss to her mouth, swallowing whatever reply she started to make, picking her up completely this time.

The difference this time was clear. He could tell it now, how she had kept herself separate from him the last time. Something about the look on her face told him that as she was undressed she felt laid bare in a way she hadn't allowed before. Her touch was rough as her hands passed over his back, squeezing at his arms, her gasps and sighs spurring him on as he pressed into her. She was submitting to him, to this, to being his, to letting him…was it love? It seemed like such a serious word to use for what they had but as he took in the sight of her as her head threw back against the pillow, an utterance of pleasure passing her lips, he knew. He was in love with her.

And when they were done, when he returned from cleaning up, he laid back down and rested his head on her chest. Her gaze was out into the room. He propped himself up to kiss her. "Hey," he muttered. "You okay?"

She nodded, smiling slightly, before glancing away again. "Yeah. Fine."

She was lying.

But how could she explain it to him, how vulnerable this made her feel? This wasn't just meaningless sex, something she was well familiar with. She knew how to handle that. It would last for a time, and then it would be over and she could drift to the next address. But this… This was a feeling of closeness, of truly being wanted, of having a home, of _belonging_ in a way she had never imagined.

And something about that terrified her.


	11. Consequence

Leonard's eyes opened. Momentarily disoriented, he remembered the events of the night before in a flash. Allison was his girlfriend now. He was lying in her bed on the other side of the house, so that was why the sunlight looked wrong. He scooted closer to her and she stirred.

"Mmm. Good morning," she said when she opened her eyes and saw him, stretching.

"Hi, baby." He kissed her. She let out a little scoffing sound at the moniker but didn't comment on it. "We slept in. I have to go to work soon."

She grabbed at his shoulder and tried to make him lie down again, grinning. "Call off. They won't miss you."

Leonard's reluctance made his voice falter. "I can't. You were only allowed to live here if I go to class and to work." Now that school was over, that part didn't matter, but he couldn't call off for something like this. "You can handle me being gone a few hours."

"I can, I just don't want to."

"Well, you can't always get what you want." He kissed her cheek. "Please don't tempt me anymore, Allison."

Her disappointment lasted only a moment longer. She smirked. "You want to take a shower then?"

Suddenly he felt like that awkward schoolboy again, shy and intimidated. "You mean…with you?"

She smiled. "What else?"

* * *

Work was entirely different that day. Leonard found himself grinning stupidly in the middle of mopping or filling orders, thinking of Allison's milky white skin and red hair, of water cascading down her body and wet kisses, instead of whatever he was supposed to be thinking about. Normally if he needed to concentrate on something he was able to compartmentalize any distractions and banish them from his thinking, but thoughts of his now requited love were all-consuming—for at least one day. He kept making stupid little mistakes. He was glad when his shift ended and he was able to head back.

On the way home he pulled into the fuel station and filled up. Walking to the counter he pulled out his wallet.

"Hey, Church, how you doing today?" The guy behind the counter, Earl, was one of his buddies from when he had played basketball his freshman year. Leonard's fondness for the occasional marijuana cigarette had gotten him kicked off the team. Sure, it was legal, but he was underage then, and he had managed to get caught lighting up behind the team bus.

"Man, I think this is about the best day of my life." Leonard was grinning and opening his wallet when his voice trailed off. "Just a sec, man, I must not be counting this right."

Leonard set the wallet on the counter and counted the money a second time, then in disbelief, a third and fourth time. He started to feel panic rise in his throat. There was only about half the amount of money that should be there.

"You got enough to pay for this?" Earl's impatience showed.

"Oh, yeah." But only just. He gave his friend the payment for the fuel and then bolted out of the shop. He was starting to feel his blood boil. Allison had been alone with his wallet briefly after their shower. Had it really all been a ruse? A manipulation so she could take what she could with her and run? By the time he got back to the house he was angry. He was sure he'd walk in and find only his father there—the car was in the driveway, unusual for this time of day.

The sight that greeted him was the last thing he expected. The first thing he saw was Allison putting the finishing touches on the spread at the table. A messily decorated cake sat on the counter. "What's this?" he asked, confused.

Lawrence stood up from where he had been sitting on the couch, eating his portion of the food. He set his plate down and clapped Leonard on the shoulder. "Do you see this beautiful meal Allison fixed for you? She worked really hard on it. She's been looking forward to your coming home all evening."

Leonard nodded, trying to keep his recent anger from showing. He hoped the red had drained from his face.

"I already had one of the steaks. Not too bad for a first attempt. Actually, it was very good."

Allison beamed. "It's only because of the cookbook you recommended to me."

"Hey, cooking like that takes some natural talent," Lawrence complimented with a chuckle. "Now, listen, I promised her she could have the evening alone with you. You two have fun. I will go ahead and retire."

"Thanks." Leonard nodded at them each in turn and then sat down in front of his plate. For a moment it almost looked like the steak was made of rolled up dollar bills. How much of the money she had stolen would end up being swallowed tonight?

"Your dad left work when I called him. Wasn't that nice? I wanted to surprise you for graduation tomorrow. He took me to the store and helped me pick out a good cut of steak and fresh eggs…"

With that Leonard banished the thought of confronting her from his mind. No use thinking about that now. He was going to have some trouble recovering from the financial blow this would cause, but there was no point in rubbing her face in the mistake.

As she spoke he stopped really paying attention to the words and just let them wash over him. He couldn't deny the steak was good. It was tender and the sautéed onions on top were just the right complement.

"Leonard!"

"Hmm, what?"

"Why aren't you talking to me?"

"Oh, I'm just…really enjoying this food. It's good stuff." He looked away from her stare. "Really, it's good."

"What's your problem?"

"Who said there's a problem?"

She scowled. "You did. When you sat there ignoring me when I was talking to you."

They sat in silence and Leonard took another bite. He should have been listening. He didn't want to talk to her about the money right now. Save the explanations for later.

"Leonard?"

"Look…it's nothing, okay? It's nothing, not a big deal. We'll talk about it later."

"Talk about what later?"

"Allison, I said it's nothing."

She raised her eyebrows. "If it's not a big deal, then you can tell me what it is."

He shook his head. "Allison, it's just that I had a long night at work. Okay? That's all. Just forget it. Hey, you want to get me a slice of cake?"

Allison's eyes were cold. "Sure. Sure, whatever." She went over and served up a slice of cake before walking over his chair and slamming the plate down on the table. She walked back over to her seat and resumed eating her dinner.

The silence was palpable. All sorts of incidental noises were obvious now—the rustling of their napkins, utensils clicking and dragging against plates. He shook his head to himself. This wasn't worth arguing over, he decided. He looked up from his food and frowned.

"Allison? Look…I'm sorry."

Her expression didn't change. "I just wanted to surprise you. I just wanted you to be happy."

"I am, Allison. I'm glad you did this for me."

She shook her head, but after a small delay she smiled slightly. There was no way that he would ever be able say anything about the money now. Leonard felt the cost of the meal slipping away, like leaves washing down a storm drain. It was no use now. He was going to have to handle it all on his own.


	12. Rumination

In the dark Leonard listened to Allison breathing beside him. The first months of their relationship had been stormy. On this particular night he was lying awake worrying about money. _So what else is new?_ He had never found a way to confront her about her stealing the money out of his wallet and he noticed that every week small amounts continued to disappear from his accounting.

To distract himself from the money issue he turned on his side and looked at her profile in the dull glow from the streetlight shining outside of the drawn curtains. As hard as it had been during the months of his self-denial he couldn't have imagined what it was like to be with her. All he knew is that it was a good thing mankind invented make-up sex because they had a lot of it. He felt like everything turned into a full-blown argument if he so much as breathed wrong.

They even argued about his work hours.

After graduation he had started working full time. It was almost the end of the summer now and she hated that he hadn't been around as much as she wished. He never told her he had only decided to pick up the extra time to make up for her stealing from him. How could he tell her that? He knew that he should probably get a bank account and quit keeping so much cash in his wallet, but it had been so easy to put that off. As much as they fought he loved spending all his free time with her, so he never managed to take the time to head out to the bank.

_You're thinking about money again. _He tried to refocus his mind on Allison. The aftermath of the graduation dinner was a favorite memory. After they had enjoyed their slices of the sumptuous cake—it looked terrible, but the flavor was excellent—they had cleaned up the kitchen together. Somehow in the course of the cleanup (and flirting) Allison had splashed a huge wave of water from a pan that was soaking onto the front of her shirt. All plans to finish cleaning dissipated when they headed upstairs for her to change. The damp embrace, the passionate kiss, and then her smile when she told him she should be the one to blow out the birthday candle.

_Okay, maybe thinking about blow-jobs when Allison is asleep isn't such a good idea either._ He shifted to press himself against her hip. He wished he could wake her up but he'd already learned what a bad idea that could be. He had already spent a few nights in his old bed after being kicked out because of her temper. Somehow sleeping in his childhood bunk bed was extremely humiliating. It was strange, that old bed had seemed fine to him before.

_Maybe I could go to the bank in the morning._ He just had to keep himself from leaving for work late this time. He was always squealing into the employee parking at the last possible second because Allison would choose the time when he was supposed to be getting ready to start coming on to him. Supposed goodbye kisses would escalate until more than once he had to abandon a potential encounter just to leave.

_Okay, and now you're thinking about sex again._ He really needed to get to sleep just to stop going round and round on impossible topics. He would have to think about it in the morning. He couldn't deal with the money problem without a fight with Allison and he couldn't take care of his hormones right now because Allison would kill him.

He finally managed to start dozing off, but not before one final thought ran through his mind. _Leonard Church, my man: You are so fucking whipped._


End file.
